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Couples Counselling Rotorua

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Couples Counselling in Rotorua

There are several options if you are looking for couples counselling in Rotorua, but it can be long waiting times if you want to book an appointment with a couples therapist or counselor.

One of the advantages of Remainly is that you avoid waiting time. You can easily get started on your own. Our psychologist and couples therapist, Andreas Narum, guides you through videos, tasks and exercises.

Our relationship paths are built on Andreas' many years of experience and support couples to resolve common relationship problems, deal with a crisis or support with preventive couple counselling.

Couples counselling

When to look for couples counselling?

When you are in a crisis

At times of crises many couples use much of their energy to argue. They get caught in endless circles of accusations and defence mechanisms, arguments may become repetitive and rejections ice cold. These couples feel that they are being driven further and further apart. If there has been an affair, it magnifies all problems and one or both of you may even feel that the easiest solution would be to go your separate ways.

If you want to save your relationship in a crisis, it is necessary to find help trough couples counselling. There have been many other couples before you who have been helped to resolve the same problems you are facing.

If both of you want to find your way back to a normality and discover a better connection in your relationship, it's possible if you are willing to invest the time and effort.

When you feel that communication in your relationship is poor or have broken down

It's time to get help if poor communication is causing problems in your relationship. Many people struggle to open up and express their emotions, it is uncommon to find two people who have been raised to communicate effectively. Therefore, it is a good idea to seek some external advice on how to establish ways to avoid arguments and find good habits.

This problem in relationships is often what we call silent topics. As you struggle to communicate the number of topics you avoid increases in fear of starting an argument. Regardless of avoiding the conversations, the lack of communication methods will cause the number of arguments to rise.

To avoid this, it is vital to learn the necessary vocabulary alongside ideas for organizing and regulating thoughts, emotions and actions and to practice using this vocabulary with your partner regularly so that it becomes a part of normal life to talk about such issues.

When your relationship is fine and you don't think you need couples counselling

We know from years of experience that it's a good idea to see a therapist every once in a while, even when everything is going fine. This is because at this time it's still relatively easy to change behaviours that may have a greater influence in the long run.

When both partners are calm and relaxed, it's much easier to talk about the little irritations in everyday life that may eventually turn into friction. When you are doing ok, you can learn how to avoid bad habits before they appear, and you can start establishing good habits. This is also a great time to explore your individual differences.

Many of the troubles that appear between partners are related to individual differences that turn into frustrating behaviour for both parties. For instance, if one of you is tidier than the other, this may become a never-ending source of frustration for both of you.

However, if you establish ways to discuss this and learn that it's a part of your personality, you may find that the differences are possible to talk about without nagging, with respect and tolerance. It's much easier to tweak your habits in the right direction before time has cemented your patterns of behaviour in a negative way.

Introduction video

What happens when you take part in couples counselling?

Many people think you need to be in a crisis in order to seek relationship advice, but that is not necessarily the case.

In couples counselling, you gain new perspectives about each other and the way you relate, and you also learn new ways of being together. Couples counselling includes skills work to help you actually do something different, as well as helping you explore your feelings and thoughts with your partner.

All relationships need a regular service. Small tweaks in your everyday, practical habits may work far better than expensive spa breaks or holidays.

One big problem for many couples, is that they develop automatic patterns of behaviour that are harmful to the relationship. Such patterns are nearly impossible to change without external help. Allowing these bad habits to grow can greatly increase the risk of a breakup, therefore it is sound advice to seek counsel while you still have the drive needed to make the changes. Very often these changes consist of adapting a few good, daily habits, and identifying bad habits. This is a lot easier to do when you don't have a crisis to deal with.

If one of the partners is reluctant to participate in couples counselling?

It may be that one of the partners is keener to seek for couples counselling than the other. This is quite common, but if you are the reluctant part, don't hesitate. Just showing your partner that you are willing to make improvements will increase your bond and gain trust. Partners who refuse to join their partner in seeking help, may often wait until an ultimatum is given. By acting sooner, you can prevent much stress, heartache and a possible break-up. See some tips on how to get your partner to join therapy in this video here.

While couples counselling is very effective at repairing most broken relationships, there are some fundamental problems that might make it impossible to repair the relationship. If one of the partners may have decided that, no matter what, they don't want to repair the relationship and that couples counselling is unlikely to help.

Get started with Remainly

Our certified psychologist and experienced couples therapist will guide you, step-by-step, with a combination of video tutorials and assignments. Read more about how Remainly works here. We have many satisfied users, read about their stories here.

If you have any questions, see our FAQ.

More about Rotorua

Rotorua is a city on the southern shores of Lake Rotorua from which the city takes its name, in the Bay of Plenty region of New Zealand's North Island. It is the seat of the Rotorua Lakes District, a territorial authority encompassing Rotorua and several other nearby towns. Rotorua has an estimated resident population of 58,500, making it the country's 12th largest urban area, and the Bay of Plenty's second largest urban area behind Tauranga. (source Wikipedia)

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