Remainly - Online Couples Therapy

FAQ

How does Remainly work?
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Remainly offers help in solving common relationship problems through multiple relationship learning "paths" with more than 100 video lessons and guided tasks on a variety of topics.

You'll learn proven, professionally based techniques to improve your relationship.

You can choose to work individually on separate computers or mobile phones, or together at the same time on the same device.

You can complete the courses separately on your own time before sitting down together to talk to each other according to the path's guidelines.

You can also start on your own, and invite your partner to join you at a later time.

Each path begins with a video describing the topic at hand, followed by an exercise and keywords to use when talking with your partner.

You can take your own notes to keep track of what you talked about in the Couples log.

The core function of Remainly is the time you spend together in conversation.

How much does Remainly cost?
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As a couple, you pay only one fee. Secure payment is made by card.

See our prices.

Can I book an appointment with a therapist for an online consultation at Remainly?
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At the moment, this is not possible. Remainly offers guided relationship learning pathways that you do alone or together with your partner.

How long do we have access to Remainly after payment?
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Monthly subscriptions without a bound agreement run for one month at a time and can be cancelled at any time. You have full access as long as you pay the monthly amount.

Are we bound in an agreement if we choose a monthly subscription?
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No. If you choose continuous monthly subscription on Remainly, you can cancel it at any time, with no agreement.

This means that no amount will be deducted in the following month, but you will not get your money back for the month started. You retain access until 30 days have passed after payment.

How to cancel a subscription?
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You can cancel your subscription at "Account" when you log in to your personal account on the Remainly webpage. At "Account" you will find information about your payments and current subscription.

Am I anonymous if I use Remainly?
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We ask for as little information as possible: your email address and your first name or nickname and age and gender. We do not share your email address with third parties. We only use it to communicate with you.

We protect this information by using industry standard secure servers and encrypted data transmissions. All payment information is stored with trusted payment providers. Read more about how we protect your information in our Privacy Policy.

Can online couples therapy work as well as regular therapy?
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Can online couples therapy work as well as regular therapy?

Offering an online service as a therapeutic tool is not without ethical issues. Several of the videos also emphasise the possible need for professional help outside Remainly.

Our premise is that the couples who choose Remainly are functioning individuals who will use this service because they want to resolve their problems and improve their relationship. They may not have the time or desire to see a psychologist or couples therapist, or they may find it too costly per hour.

We hope that Remainly will ensure that the vast majority of couples who do not seek professional help from a therapist, for a variety of reasons, can still benefit from the extensive research on couples and couple satisfaction.

Our service is not intended for relationships where there are serious problems such as substance abuse or domestic violence.

How long has Remainly been around?
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Remainly, and its Norwegian version Parweb.no, has been online since 2018.

Several thousand Norwegian couples have invested time and been able to improve their relationships through Parweb.

In May 2020, we launched the english version of Parweb - Remainly.com

Since march 2021, Remainly is also available in Swedish - Remainly.se

Is Remainly good for same-sex couples too?
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Yes. Anyone in a close, romantic relationship can use Remainly.

Human closeness in romantic relationships is characterized by very general mechanisms that almost everyone can recognize.

Are the couple stories statements from real people?
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Yes, but the age and gender may have been changed and the pictures are illustrations.

Are Remainly available in other languages?
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Yes, in Swedish - Remainly.se

Yes, in Norwegian - Parweb.no

Read more about the personality test and the Big Five model
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What is a personality test?

A personality test is usually a questionnaire about your behavior. There are no right or wrong answers as long as you answer to the best of your ability. Some personality tests are long, with hundreds of questions, while others might have under 20 questions. There are strict guidelines to follow when making a personality test. These kinds of tests are based on a personality model and are made up of questions that have been developed and tested thoroughly.


What is the Big Five model?

Who are you as a person? It’s impossible to give a precise answer to this question because you behave differently in different situations with different people. Perhaps it’s okay to not have a precise answer. It would be limiting and boring if there were a box to put everyone in.

The ancient Greeks talked about four personality types or temperaments:
Sanguine (lively), Phlegmatic (mellow), Choleric (angry), and Melancholic (sad). Since then, many smart people have suggested different ways to describe personalities. In the past 25-30 years, researchers around the world have agreed on a way to describe personalities that is based on the language that people actually use. It is called the Big Five. The idea behind the Big Five is that what is important for humans must have become embodied in the language that we use since we have been developing language for thousands of years.

That is why hardworking researchers in the United States spent hundreds of hours creating lists of words that describe personalities or relationships. The words were then used in surveys, and by the help of mathematical techniques, were reduced to the words that best describe different kinds of people. These words appeared to be able to be divided into five categories or factors — The Big Five.

It is possible to divide each of the factors into several sub-factors, but we have decided to only use the main factors in this survey. This is so that the person taking the questionnaire won’t have too many questions to answer.

Here are the five factors in the Big Five:

  • Factor I: Extraversion
  • Factor II: Agreeableness
  • Factor III: Conscientiousness
  • Factor IV: Temper or Neuroticism
  • Factor V: Openness to experience


Learn more about the basics of Big Five on this short video:


The Personality Reports

The goal of the personality report is to allow you to get to know yourself better so that you can be the partner that you aspire to be. If you have extreme results in some areas, then you can keep that in mind when you are with your friends and family.

If you don’t think your results describe you, it’s possible that you have used the scale in a completely different way than most other people. It’s also possible that your score ended up on the borderline of two reports. If you don’t agree with your report, it can be a good opportunity to talk to your partner, friends or family about what you think is inaccurate. Perhaps this could lead to new insights?

Personality tests can never be completely accurate and if you don’t agree with your score, then you are probably right. The only exception is if you don’t answer the questions honestly or if you lack self-awareness. Nonetheless, the point of these reports is to spark conversations, not to put you in a box or tell you who you are. That is impossible to analyze, which is why it’s a good idea to use words from the report and from the extra worksheets in Remainly to think about what you each typically do in your day to day lives that is positive for your partner and what can be worked on. Being able to identify your unique personalities can help you avoid unnecessary fighting.

There is a lot written about individual differences in the personality reports and the extra worksheets. Think about how the different characteristics are distributed between the two of you and how they affect each of you. Talk to your partner about this, but also with friends and family. Bring up old memories. It can be quite nice to have a conversation about your personality with someone that knows you well. Not to mention how nice it can be to talk about it with your kids or your parents. Try it out!

The personality test is based on well-known research on personalities. The Big Five personality test that we use is made in compliance with information and theories that psychologists agree on.

The inspiration behind many of the points in this shortened version of the Big Five are from Lewis Goldbergs model. He has made different versions of the Big Five. Some of them are very extensive and have a lot of questions. This version is short, with only ten question for each factor. This is the minimum to be able to be precise and give extensive descriptions. It only includes the five main factors and not the 30-40 sub-factors. But the idea here is to inform people that they actually have a personality type, and that it can be interesting to compare it to those of other people. The goal is for more people to gain self-awareness and perhaps improve their relationships.

When making these kinds of tests, it’s important to make sure that the questions “go in the same direction” so that a person gets roughly the same results each time they take the test. Then, it has to be probable that you actually gauge extroversion, for example, when that is what you are after. Finally, you have to test out the questions on a group of people that fit the target group.

Three or five levels? We divide feedback into three levels for the reports that are meant to give a quick overview: high, medium and low. On the longer reports, we divide the feedback into five levels: Very high, high, medium, low, very low. All of the scales are consistent, but even when everything is done by the book, it’s still not possible for a test result to perfectly pinpoint one’s personality. How you actually behave is only something that can be known by the people that know you best, and maybe yourself.

When writing this kind of report, you have to generalize what people in a certain group would typically do. That means that we make a description about what a typical person would do that scores high, medium or low on a given factor, but we can only do this for one factor at a time. Therefore we don’t include how these factors affect one another. We know that the results will be accurate for many people because they are typically descriptions of what people usually do when they get that score, but there will always be outliers.

A personality test based on the Big Five model is divided into five main factors, which are usually divided into several sub-factors that are called facets. We only give feedback on the main factors, or the main personality traits. Each of the five personality factors are actually divided into several sub-factors so that there are five to six reports per factor.

There are many different kinds of extroverts and introverts. Maybe you like talking to new people at a party, but you hate making speeches to large crowds. You might like to be at the center of a small group but become anxious if the group were larger. The former is what we call sociability and the latter is more a desire for attention. You can score highly on one of those factors and not the other. These kinds of differences are not included in the report description for this short test. We only use the main score, and therefore miss out on variations like these in the sub-factors of each personality trait.

We only look at individual factors when we are writing the reports. We might write something like people who are controlling are usually careful and hold back. This would be typical of people who are on that end of the scale. However, if you are controlling but also very outgoing and open to new experiences, then this probably wouldn’t be true for you. The problem here is that we have to concentrate on one factor at a time. On the longer version, there are 100 personality reports. If we were to include all the possible combinations of factors there would be hundreds of reports to write. Maybe we’ll get there some day!

If you feel like you report does not describe you how you see yourself, remember that you are probably right, given that you are self-aware, and that the point of the Big Five tradition here at Remainly is to introduce the five factors as a framework to talk about our differences.

Sometimes the sub-factors of the personality traits can seem contradictory. For example, if you see yourself as a very optimistic person, then it’s very likely that you also see yourself as a sensible person. The problem is that this is not always the case. Some optimists are also temperamental, so this report would not be true for them.

If you don’t feel like your results are an accurate representation of your personality, or because you’re wondering how the test was made. We will be the first to admit that getting a test result that you don’t see yourself in can feel unfair and wrong. Test results are not going to give a completely accurate description of a person. And that’s a good thing! If you don’t feel like it describes you, then you are probably right.

Below are some explanations about how we have calculated your results as well as some thoughts about why it might not be completely accurate. If we have phrased the results in a way that made very concrete claims about a person, it is only because we were trying to generalize for simplicity.

There is a limit to how many times we can say things like maybe, perhaps, usually, at times, etc in the report without it becoming too much for such a short report. A test report is usually the starting point for conversations about how accurately the results describe your behavior in certain situations.

This is a conversation to have with you loved ones, even if you don’t feel that the results represent your personality. The important thing is not what is written in the test results, rather the conversation it inspires about how you approach your daily activities.



The company behind Remainly
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Remainly is owned and operated by Parweb Scandinavia AB (Ltd)

Varberg, Sweden

Company number; 559211-3491

VAT number; SE559211349101

mail: contact@remainly.com

Still have questions? Email us at contact@remainly.com

All prices are per couple