Remainly - Online Couples Therapy

Spending time as a couple is a relationship essential. Time together allows couples to bond and learn about one another. It is a common complaint of couples that relationships suffer when either or both individuals feel disconnected or less involved with one another.

However, devoting time through shared experiences and activities can go a long way in maintaining a happy and healthy relationship.

A couple walking while smiling and holding hands

How can couples benefit from common interests?

If you both have a busy schedule, if you have just started a new relationship or you feel as though you’re drifting away from your partner, finding common interests can help develop and improve a bond between a couple.

Here at Remainly, our online couples therapy can help you to work together. We offer a general guide on finding new interests as a couple below.

Look to the past

If you have been with your partner for many years, you may want to start by looking at memories and reflect on past experiences.

Reminiscing is a great way to bring couples together as well as being a constructive way to explore what you once found enjoyable if you’re currently experiencing a lull in your relationship.

You may have once dedicated your time to travelling together, or perhaps you met while attending a club or event for a common interest?

However you may have once enjoyed spending time together, you can brainstorm similar activities which you may enjoy now or even re-visit past interests. And if you are a new couple without much common history, you may still reminisce about situations in your life where you felt alive and. Maybe you can recreate some such situations with your new partner?

A couple cooking together and smiling

Consider each other’s interests

Another excellent way to help discover common interests is to include each other in your personal interests and hobbies.

Some people may feel like they enjoy having their own interest separate to their partner, which is perfectly acceptable.

On the other hand, if you’re open to sharing each other’s interests, creating a feeling of inclusion can help to strengthen a bond in a relationship.

Introducing your partner to your personal hobby or interest is a fantastic way to show you want to involve one another in your lives.

Perhaps you could offer your partner a beginner’s introduction to an interest you love?

Alternatively, you could arrange an activity that you know your partner loves. It allows your partner to share why they enjoy spending their free time this way and is also an opportunity for you to realise the positive impact it has for them and its necessity in your partner’s life.

Patience is key

Whichever way you choose to share your interests, remember to remain patient as your partner learns. Your swap of pastimes will no doubt mean one of you will be starting at a basic level, so it’s essential to respect and provide a safe and inclusive environment.

Try something new

Experiencing a brand new activity is a great way to refresh a relationship. It breaks up the usual routine and improves the quality of time couples spend together as it depends on skills which may not be used often in daily life.

Introducing new experiences demonstrates you want to grow and develop together as both people, circumstances and life is ever-changing.

By both parties being in the same boat when attempting a new activity, it practises communicating skills as well as pushing you to work together in supporting one another.

Try to keep an eye on opportunities around you such as a couples craft workshop, a new film release in the cinema, or the opening of a new restaurant. Anything that you might want to experience, propose your ideas to your partner.

A couple doing building work together

Keep an open mind

Common interests don’t have to be sport or activity focused. You or your partner may have an interest in music, film, or collectables. Whatever you or your partner enjoys, being free of judgement is essential to enjoying new experiences.

You never know what you might like, so maintaining an open perspective will help create an overall positive experience. Even if it turns out the activity isn’t for you, having an honest and humorous approach still contributes to positive and funny memories for you both to reflect on in the future.

Be encouraging

Providing a nurturing environment which offers support and encouragement will help when experimenting and trying to find new activities or hobbies as a couple.

If one or both of you are trying a new activity, be inviting with your proposals and ideas. Creating an open and inclusive atmosphere plays a significant role to keep communication high. It helps your partner to feel encouraged to contribute their ideas too.

If your partner is apprehensive about a proposed activity, they may need that little extra push in confidence to help them start.

Show appreciation

For all of us, our free time can be incredibly valuable. Therefore it is important that we show appreciation when people dedicate time to us as it helps to establish a bond and also encourages an overall positive experience.

Showing that you appreciate one another’s presence is not only essential for establishing a healthy relationship, it also sets the precedence for your partner to join you next time.

If someone feels like they were a burden or not adept enough, it is unlikely they will feel comfortable to join again when invited in the future.

Showing appreciation also creates a team atmosphere. A relationship should be a collective effort which includes emotional support, gratitude and praise.

Discover the importance of teamwork in a relationship in our article below.

CTA button to Remainly blog on teamwork

The willingness to try new experiences is vital when trying to find common interests as a couple. We have provided you with some ideas to get you started. A common interest doesn’t necessarily have to be one set activity, but it is more about the allocation of dedicated, undistracted time to one another.

If you want to improve how you communicate your ideas as a couple, Remainly’s video-based service has helped many couples across the world.

It can be accessed online, at any time and in your own pace. We have several pathways which are led by our lead relationship psychologist, Andreas Løes Narum. To discover more about what we do, browse our website or contact us today.

More articles

Money back guarantee. If you're not satisfied with our service within the first 14 days, you will get a full refund.