Remainly - Online Couples Therapy

Therapy takes time

If you feel like your relationship is in trouble, then couples therapy can be a valuable resource.

Therapy should not be treated as a last resort or the final stop in the journey towards divorce or separation. It is more constructive to think of couples counselling as the beginning of an ongoing and changeable process; a process that deserves a lot of time and care dedicated to it.

Some of the main aims of couples therapy include:

  • Learning more about yourself and your partner.
  • Improving communication skills.
  • Identifying and changing patterns of behaviour.
  • Examining how your past can affect your current relationships.
  • Learning how to deal with conflict.

Like learning any new skill, the things being taught and examined in couples therapy will take time to grasp. Here, we guide you through why taking your time in counselling is important and how it can help strengthen the bonds of your relationship.

Investing time

Before even sitting down with a counsellor, it can help to reflect on how much time you already invest in your relationship.

Maintaining a fulfilling and loving relationship requires time. Every relationship is unique and will call for different amounts of time spent on different things.

Think about how often you spend with your partner and examine the kinds of activities you are doing when together.

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Successful couples therapy

As mentioned before, you should not think of couples therapy as a last resort. Rather, you should think of it as oiling the machinery. It should also not be thought of as a quick fix.

Our videos will take you through the actionable steps that will help you learn to become the kind of partner that you want to be. However, as with any process, there will be setbacks or unforeseen difficulties.

Some topics that come up may be harder for you than others; couples therapy will be different for everyone. Learning how you best respond to counselling will also take time.

Recognising the reasons why it is important to be patient will help make therapy a more positive and effective experience.

Long-term goals

Thinking about long-term goals will be necessary when endeavouring to cultivate sustainable change. By their very nature of being ‘long term’, these goals won’t be achieved overnight.

Give yourself time to reach long-term goals; progress happens over extended periods and you may end up adjusting goals in the future.

Dedication

Follow through with the promises made during therapy.

Being dedicated to working through the exercises and assignments will allow you to have true moments of reflection. This is how you will start moving towards the kind of relationship that you want.

Self-reflection

As stated, a key element of couples counselling is learning to self-reflect and take responsibility for yourself. Focusing on changing yourself rather than your partner will be more effective than relying on them to do all of the work.

Taking the time to focus on yourself will help to promote genuine lasting growth.

Emotional capacity

Going through couples therapy will be emotionally draining. Unpacking volatile or complex emotions will take time and practice.

When faced with uncomfortable emotions, many people will shut down. Learning how to take these feelings on board while remaining present can be a journey for some.

A professional therapist will teach you how to understand these kinds of emotions and will help you to find healthy ways of dealing with them.

Conflict leads to growth

Initially, it may seem paradoxical to think that conflict can be positive, but learning to navigate arguments will be a vital avenue to development. Healthy conflict ends with resolution.

Pushing past conflict and studying how to deal with it appropriately will take time and consideration, but will be beneficial to your relationship in the long run.

Getting it right

There will be missteps; nobody is perfect. Accepting that things might go wrong along the way will give you both room to grow without feeling like there is a finish line that you have to cross immediately.

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Ultimately, couples therapy can only be beneficial if you and your partner take the time to learn and grow. Whether you want to rebuild intimacy, communication skills or generally improve your relationship, it is important to treat each other with compassion and patience during the process.

If you think that couples therapy might be something to consider in your relationship, we can help. Here at Remainly, our experienced relationship therapist Andreas will guide you through a selection of advice videos from a pathway designed to suit your needs.

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