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Why is it important to discuss the future in a relationship?

Certain topics and conversations are important to have in a relationship to make sure couples are on the same page. One such conversation that will prompt many other discussions is the future.

If you are committed to investing in your relationship and securing your future together, services like relationship counselling online can be invaluable. Remainly provides online videos guides that have been designed to take you through the solutions to a selection of problems you might be facing.

Discussions about the future can be intimidating; there are so many things about the future that are a mystery. However, talking about your future is an important part of any relationship and can help ensure its success. Here, we look at why conversations about the future are crucial and how you can begin to initiate these talks as a couple.

When should you start talking about the future?

This will be different for every couple. Some couples may talk about what they expect from the future very early on in their relationship while others may only feel comfortable breaching the subject when they feel more secure.

Chances are, if you are in a long-term relationship, questions about the future have cropped up. If you start arguing about what the future holds for you, it is time to sit down and have the important discussions you have been putting off.

Although it may be uncomfortable to bring up, conversations about the future shouldn’t simmer and instead should be broached when you both notice that it’s something that needs to be worked through.

A couple holding hands

Why are conversations about the future important?

Ultimately, discussing the future helps you get on the same page as each other. If you never talk about the future, each person in the relationship may have different expectations and wishes that don’t align with their partner’s. Having completely different ideas about what your future will look like can lead to further problems and tension.

Many couples are afraid to talk about the future because it can reveal underlying issues that aren’t easily solved. This is not a good reason to avoid having these important discussions as these problems will start affecting your relationship at some point; it is better to confront your fears.

Conversations about the future can also help you break down a timeline of where you both expect to be in the next few years, both in regard to personal development and what you expect from the relationship. Defining what the future means to both of you will help keep you on track.

How should you have these conversations?

Good communication is an essential function of a healthy relationship. Being able to comfortably talk to your partner about potentially contentious topics is something that will take practice.

Don’t avoid discussion

Don’t be dismissive or push the discussion away. Simply realising that you need to have a conversation about the future and confront the issue head-on can be useful unless you are stuck in negative patterns of communication that turn all discussions into arguments. If this is the case, try viewing videos about destructive arguments at

Be honest and clear

Try not to hold back what you really think when you realise that your ideas don’t align with your partner’s. Suppressing your own feelings will only cause issues later when you become unhappy because your future as a couple is not what you were hoping it would be.

Be sincere and straightforward when these conversations begin. Make it clear where you stand but try to leave room for collaboration and compromise.

A couple looking at each other and smiling by the sea

Focus on listening and exploration

Avoid interrogating your partner for their ideas and instead ask encouraging and open-ended questions that you can explore together. Try not to treat the discussion as a test where you’re trying to catch each other out; collaborative communication is essential if you want to reach solutions.

Focus on your partner’s responses and try not to be reactionary when you hear something you don’t agree with. It is more helpful to view any issues as the two of you versus the problem rather than you versus your partner.

Ask why your partner has a certain view rather than immediately jumping to an argument. They may surprise you, and you may have more similar thoughts than you initially realised.

Find the overlap

It is frustrating when it seems like you can’t agree on anything. Often, you will be able to find an overlap between your opposing ideas and build a strategy from there. Expect to have some negotiations about various things; relationships are about give and take, but there is also often room to meet in the middle.

If you are struggling to confront the future, you may benefit from the guidance of a professional couple’s therapist to help you navigate the necessary conversations. Remainly provides the help you need through tailored pre-recorded videos with lessons and solutions for your relationship troubles. Find out how we can help you improve your communication skills and overall relationship today.

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