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9 things most couples take for granted

When spending so much time together, the risk of a relationship falling into a mundane routine can increase when couples forget the smaller, yet essential acts of support towards one another. In this article, we look at what these are and why they are necessary for couples to review.

What Does ‘Take for Granted’ Mean?

In terms of a relationship, the phrase ‘take for granted’ refers to one or both partners acting in a way that makes the other feel unappreciated. This behaviour also assumes that the relationship is ‘fine’ even without any acts of gratitude or appreciation. No time or effort is taken to ensure that you are adequately thanked, looked after, listened to and made to feel special.

Being on the Same Team

Being on the same team is an integral part of all relationships because it makes you feel safe and secure and shows that you support one another. Without this, you may foster unease and distrust.

Therefore, it is essential that you make a habit of sharing information at least once a day. This could be information about your day, something you are struggling with, or a positive experience. Whatever it may be, it means that each one of you must listen to the narrative, which we will tackle in our next point.

Two men talking at a table


By listening, we mean listening; nothing more, nothing less. This means that you take the time to hear about one another’s day, problems or experiences, whether it is a positive or negative narrative.

You should avoid giving advice, just listen. Ask neutral questions which allow your partner to talk more in-depth,  such as ‘could you tell me a bit more about that?’ Don’t offer advice unless you have been specifically asked for it.

Offering Emotional Support

By listening to your partner, you are offering emotional support. This is more valuable than giving ‘good’ advice, and it is actually easy to do.

When your partner is discussing their day, actively look and sound interested in what they are saying. We have all experienced someone looking at their phone during a conversation and this can make us feel insignificant. This is not what you want to do to your partner!

Talking About Sex

Fully understanding how a person feels, thinks and cares about sex requires you to ask questions and communicate properly. Your partner is unfortunately not a mind reader, and you have to talk to them to let them know what works for you sexually. People can fall into the trap of assuming that their partner doesn’t understand them sexually, but it may be, in fact, a lack of communication on your part.

Acting on Ambitions

Taking the time to discuss the future is incredibly important in a relationship because it is the opportunity to acknowledge that you are heading in the same direction for the future and you would like to, mostly, have the same end goal.

It is also the chance to listen to what your partner would like to achieve personally, and therefore consider this and offer support.

By categorising your personal ambitions, you can analyse how you can make them realistically possible by working together. It also allows you to prioritise the list of goals and help to create an obtainable life plan.

Warmly Greeting Each Other

Be that hello and goodbye you would like to receive. Just because you may see your partner every day doesn’t mean that you should cop-out of the small, friendly daily interactions.

If you were seeing a friend or trying to impress a colleague at work, you would behave in an approachable and trusting manner, so try to treat your partner with the same warmth.

Be excited and happy to see each other and see where it goes!

A man and woman hugging

Regularly Hugging One Another

Hugs are so crucial for humans to feel loved and cared about. However, with such busy lives, we tend to forget to give them and overlook the positive impact they can have! Don’t let this happen to your relationship and try to create a daily habit of hugging with your partner.

A seven-second hug two times a day will improve how you feel about yourselves and each other and improve how you connect. Perhaps hug before you go to work for the day and then when you next see one another again.

Regularly hugging can’t just be limited to when you are feeling good, it must also happen during times of stress and upset.

Considering Each Other’s Interests

Discussing almost everything with your partner is, of course, important, but there is still much more to understand about them. It would be best if you showed that you have a genuine interest in their external and internal life.

One way to do this is to dedicate your free time to them and try something that they have expressed interest for, primarily if you have never completed the activity or experience together.

When you first started dating, it is likely you tried many different experiences together, whether a sport, recreational activity or travelling! There is no reason to stop doing these things. There is always much to learn about one another at any stage of life.  For more inspiration, take a look at our article on how to have more fun with your partner.

A man and woman in the kitchen

Acknowledging Each Other’s Input

This is a significant one. It is easy to become so caught up in ourselves that we don’t realise what contributions our partners are making to the relationship. For example, they might not have a higher paid job, but they ensure you have a nice cooked meal every night when you get home.

It is essential to take a step back and consider how you support the relationship and think about why you are grateful for their input.

If you are considering relationship counselling, Remainly offers an online couples counselling service which can support you from anywhere in the world. Our experienced psychologist leads the sessions through a collection of recorded videos. This means you can develop the skills on your own timescale and from the comfort of your own home. For more information on our service, why not get in contact with us?

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