Remainly - Online Couples Therapy

Can You Fix A Toxic Relationship (And How Do You Fix It)?

Yes, you can fix a toxic relationship, but it requires work. You might feel compelled to ask why fixing a toxic relationship is so tricky? The answer is simple. You have to be aware of the problem to fix it. So lets get into the details on can you fix a toxic relationship.

People in toxic relationships don't even know that they are in a toxic relationship, which makes fixing it harder. You don't have to worry because we've got you covered, from identification to resolution on how to fix a toxic relationship, we have it all.

But first, we need to answer the following question...

Do you actually have a toxic relationship?

Before we discuss the basics of resolving conflicts, you have to understand whether your relationship is toxic or not. Fortunately, there are some tell-tale signs of toxic relationships that you can use as a reference guide.

Emotional Manipulation

The first sign of a toxic relationship is emotional manipulation. If your significant other places unnecessary limits on you because of their insecurity, the chances are that you have a toxic relationship.

Controlling behavior is a dead giveaway because it signifies a lack of trust and unhealthy communication patterns.

Dishonesty and Lies

Another trait of a toxic relationship is the reliance of one party on dishonesty and lies. Relationships require transparency to function. Lies in a relationship are signs of insecurity. It means that you do not trust your partner enough to tell him the truth.

Lying is asking for your significant other to leave you because once they catch on, you'll lose all of your credibility. There is no going back once you lose your trust. If you have been hiding things, turn over a new page and come clean. Trust us, it will feel like shedding a ton of unnecessary weight.

Unhealthy Communication

Healthy relationships will have healthy communication, while toxic relationships will most likely have hostile communication. The tension in the air is usually thick. The worst thing here is that the lack of communication does not allow any side to work things out.

If you don't take an active part in resolving the problem, things will only get worse. The situation is akin to a car skidding and spiraling out of control; you either get in the driver's seat or get wrecked! Taking control is the most important thing.

We recommend you read more about why couples argue over nothing if you are experiencing an unhealthy level of communication in your relationship.

Constant Negative Environment

The final major giveaway of toxic relationships is the development of negative feelings, ultimately, a lack of self-worth. If you feel on edge or that the world is gloomier because of your significant other, then you are probably in a toxic relationship.

The constant bickering and chaos within you are destroying your sight. The lack of color and joy in your life forces you to ignore the potential for joy and happiness that the world around you holds. You will feel drained, out of life, and guilty of things that you shouldn't be feeling guilty for at all!

These are some of the most basic signs of a toxic relationship. Before anything else, you must determine whether your relationship is toxic or not? You have to analyze your relationship and find the root cause of these distortions. You will have to make a painful and life-changing decision once you find the source of the distortions and negativeness.

Fixing a toxic relationship and can you do it

Is your toxic relationship worth saving?

Usually, when you start analyzing your relation, you only think about why you are at the point you are. However, once you finish analyzing your situation, you will face the daunting question of "Should you save a toxic relationship?".

This question will plague your mind like a swarm of locusts, further draining and taxing your mental health. The most straightforward answer to this question lies in understanding the nature of your relationship.

Also read about how and what makes your relationship grow as this can be a great opportunity to understand if and why your relationship is worth saving.

Differentiating b/w Healthy and Toxic Relationships

You have to discern whether your relationship was toxic from the get-go or did it become that way. We understand that your mental situation might not allow you to analyze your situation and look for any signs of toxic relationships. Therefore we recommend getting a pen and paper.

Write down all of the things that make your relationship worthwhile on one side and what make it worthless on the other side. From the list of things you have made, try to make a separate list (We will call it the "Recent List"). In this new list, write down the negative and positive behaviors that have developed recently.

Analyze the lists

If the positive traits outnumber the toxic relationship signs in the "Recent" list, congratulations, you have a healthy relationship that you can save. If the toxic relationship signs outnumber the healthy relationship signs, you may have an unhealthy relationship.

You now have to go through the first list to decide the nature of your relationship. If the positive patterns outnumber the toxic patterns, then congratulations once again; your relationship is salvageable. If you put in a bit of effort or attempt to create healthy communication, you may succeed in creating healthy patterns in your relationship.

What if? (The worst-case scenario)

If the toxic patterns outnumber the positive signs, you have been in a toxic relationship from the beginning. In such relationships, only one partner makes an active effort to turn the toxic relationship healthy.

We recommend leaving these one-sided, manipulative relationships because they aren't worth it. People in such relationships have a history of being toxic partners and are experts in playing the blame game. In the end, the choice is yours; analyze and assess the situation and make your choice. But you can also implement good communication with your partner and understand better if you can fix a toxic relationship.

How to fix a toxic relationship

How to fix a toxic relationship?

As we said, you can transform an unhealthy relationship into a healthy relationship if you follow good relationship advice. Don't worry; we have you covered because we have listed the most organic ways to turn your toxic relationship into a healthy one.

Establish healthy communication

The first thing you do is sit down and have a grown-up talk about the problems. The main goal is to re-establish clear lines of communication. The silent treatment won't work on a toxic partner; you need to express criticism. You will have to convey your feelings and concerns to your partner positively.

Talk things through, use the list that you made for reference. Do not use an aggressive tone because you'll lose control of the situation if you express anger. Tell your partner how everything in your toxic relationship is draining you. You have to tell them how things need to change and what will happen if they don't change.

Tell your partner how the constant burden hurts your self-esteem and mental well-being. Tell them that you need to establish healthy boundaries for both of you to have a happy relationship. A great exercise to communicate better in your relationship can sometimes be to understand how to plan your future together, keep this in mind continuing forward in understanding if you can fix a toxic relationship.

Understand your relationship

A good partner will take personal responsibility and try to change for your sake. Ask them the reason for their behavior and shadiness. Ask your partner whether they want to continue with the relationship. Ask them about any reservations or suspicions that they have.

Knowing the reservations of your partner is crucial to every relationship. If you communicate effectively, you will know what your partner wants. Once you understand what your partner wants, determine whether his needs transgress the boundaries that you have.

Learn to say no to the things that put your health in jeopardy. Setting healthy boundaries is what will allow both of you to thrive. Learn to respect your partner's boundaries and ask him to do the same.

Couples after discussion about relationships that are toxic

Seek Professional Help

Contact a relationship therapist if your partner is confused about something or needs more help. A relationship therapist can give you sound relationship advice and tell you how to fix a toxic relationship in more detail.

You can also go to marriage counselling, which allows both partners to heal their relationship actively. Couples therapy will enable both partners to hold uncomfortable conversations in a healthy environment.

These uncomfortable conversations will enable both partners to understand where their boundaries lie. Seek professional help because there are some difficult conversations that you cannot hold effectively without guidance.

The Last Straw

All people involved in a relationship need to make a conscious effort to solve things. If you have a true toxic partner, they will resort to emotional manipulation again. If they resort to their previous toxic traits and controlling behavior, then it's high time that you leave. It may be hard to accept, but it just isn't worth it.


A toxic relationship will drain and destroy your mental well-being, and nothing matters more than your health. You should only try to save a relationship if it is worth saving. If it isn't worth saving, and you have enough red flags, you may be well advised to leave!

Frequently Asked Questions About Can You Fix A Toxic Relationship

What should you do after leaving a toxic relationship?

Leaving toxic relationships isn't easy, but once you do, focus on yourself. Seek help from a mental health professional. Re-establish and repair your personal space. Learn the art of self-care and get a life coach if you feel like it. Reaching out to a support network in such situations can also help you.

Am I the toxic partner in the relationship?

The answer to this question lies in the sense of self-awareness. You will have to analyze your own actions from a critical point of view. If you exhibit any toxic behaviors mentioned above, you are the toxic partner. You can take professional help to solve your relationship issues.

What is one thing you should always avoid in a relationship?

Abuse is one thing that you should never go towards, especially in a toxic relationship. An abusive relationship can lead to long-term trauma and significant health issues. Most toxic relationships have abuse in the form of physical violence. If, at any point, toxic behavior morphs into abusive behavior, call the authorities.

More articles

All prices are per couple and include a 7-day free trial